Fights are common
in preschool: in a world where children are just beginning to form conceptions
of sharing and empathy, personal space is constantly invaded, communal tubs of
paint constantly upset, and toy animals constantly commandeered. As the students
in one of A.O. Sexton’s classrooms, where I am part of Jumpstart sessions twice
a week, learn to interact with another, with their new Jumpstart friends, and
with the ever-more regulated educational day, they are developing behavioral
skills which will help them succeed. However, this process of developing
interpersonal skills is by no means easy or fast for children, who are still
learning that when others’ feelings are hurt, it is the same as when one’s own
feelings are affronted. [...]
A major part of
Jumpstart’s work—one which you wouldn’t necessarily expect from an organization
geared toward literacy—is reinforcing positive interactions between child and
others, whether through solving conflicts, mediating limited resources and
supplies, or modeling the Jumpstart rules of listening, sharing, saying kind
words, and using gentle hands. Of course, that work isn’t instantaneous, and a
common feature of sessions is dealing with whatever latest conflict arises. The
preschoolers’ personal favorite at the moment revolves around friendship, that
ultimate commodity which for preschoolers has been hollowed of any meaning
other than the fact that they know “friendship” is supposed to signify some
kind of mutually beneficial relationship. For preschoolers, friendship is
merely a feature of a certain language about friendship, not a reward for
doing/giving something, but certainly a possible punishment for hurt feelings.
As I sat at the
puzzles center one session, two different boys—I will call them Loki and Odin—sat
down and promptly began punching, hitting, insulting, and generally bothering
each other. Odin turned to me and said: “Loki is NOT my friend.” That was it,
conversation over. Of course, my role as mediator was only beginning, so,
wondering what Loki’s offense was this time, I gently asked Odin why Loki wasn’t
his friend. Usually this conversation runs along the lines of so-and-so hurt my
feelings, stole my paintbrush, hit me, etc. (often on accident), and is
resolved when the offending party apologizes. This time was different. After
thinking for a moment, Odin said quietly, “Loki isn’t my friend because he hasn’t
asked me.”
“Well,” I
responded, “do you want him to be your friend?”
“Yes,” Odin
nodded furiously.
“Then why don’t
you ask him to be your friend?” While
it was clear Odin had never considered this option—which gave him agency and
showed him that friendship is certainly not passive and requires active
communication to sustain—he quickly took up my suggestion, turned to Loki, and
asked him if he would be his friend. The answer was a clear, unhesitating yes.
The impact
Jumpstart has on preschool children is not limited to simply learning to read a
book. Perhaps what is most surprising about the impact of Jumpstart sessions is
the way in which reading—and developing literacy and language skills during the
different activities of Jumpstart sessions—informs behavioral and interpersonal
development. The same processes, conversations, and modeled behavior that I
initiate during reading resurface in children’s interactions; learning to give
each other a turn to raise questions or make comments about a book we are
reading, for example, returns when children start to reinforce the idea of
taking turns during their own lunch-time conversations. Learning that each
opinion about a book is valid equally with other opinions is drawn on when
children start to value each other’s differences, as well as similarities. The
children in my reading group often like to point out which scene in the book is
their favorite; as they learn to let each other speak, they start to see that
not only is each person’s view important, but that they can get something more
out of the book by learning to appreciate what other children think is great
about different parts.
While I haven’t
seen massive changes in children’s reading skills after a few months in
Jumpstart, I have seen a large improvement in interpersonal behaviors as they
use the language and literacy skills they gain by reading to communicate with
one another.
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